Losowe angielskie dowcipy
No Hemorrhoids ->
Why don't men get hemorrhoids? Because they are all perfect assholes!... [ca造 ->]
Timber! ->
So Sven and Ole were out working in the forest one day. They had just gotten jobs as lumber jacks. Well one say they were working along cutting down all the trees that had the big red X on them. As instructed by the foreman they were to yell 'TIMB... [ca造 ->]
What a bonehead! ->
A young newlywed was telling his friend about his wedding night. "Boy, was my girl dumb! She put a pillow under her ass intead of her head!"... [ca造 ->]
Now that I'm older... ->
Now that I'm older.....here's what I've discovered..... I started out with nothing..I still have most of it. When did my wild oats turn into prunes and All Bran? I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remem... [ca造 ->]
Suck It In ->
I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon?" "Sure it does," he said. "How else can I can... [ca造 ->]
Salami & the Talibuttheads ->
Q&A's about Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads: Q: Why does Salami Bin Coward carry a Turd in his pocket? A: It's his photo ID. Q: What do Salami Bin Coward and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing - "yet". Q: How do you play Talibutthe... [ca造 ->]
Advantages of older women... ->
An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might h... [ca造 ->]
Who's job is it? ->
What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her panties? Self-employed!... [ca造 ->]
Name a... ->
Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises.... [ca造 ->]
Social Security ->
A man came home from the Social Security Office. 'Honey,' he said to his wife, 'I finally convinced them that I'm old enough to collect Social Security.' 'How?' his wife asked. 'Since the department of records in the small town you were born in wa... [ca造 ->]
Men Are Like....... ->
Men are like....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like ....Vacations. They never seem long enough. Men are like....Bank machines.Once they withdraw they... [ca造 ->]
Call A Smart Blonde ->
Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A golden retriever!... [ca造 ->]
Tree Talk ->
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker la... [ca造 ->]
End of the World Reports ->
When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE Mic... [ca造 ->]
Clinton in Oz! ->
The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE... [ca造 ->]